Can the current economy afford gay marriage?

When is the continuous drone of the gay rights activists going to stop playing the victim and face the facts? The argument is that people in heterosexual relationships get more rights under the current system of marriage laws than do same-sex relationships. I will not refute that.

The problem here is all about resources. In today's economy, the housing market has gone to the dogs. The student debt is higher than ever due to increasing tuition. The loss of jobs and unemployment rate are the highest since The Great Depression. We just don't have enough resources to offer gays the additional financial benefits that marriage provides.

The tax breaks and the insurance benefits they are fighting to get will further increase our economic woes. A similar argument can be made for providing benefits to illegal immigrants - so this rant isn't a discriminatory one. We can't be handing out benefits like its cake, especially since a lot of our universal rights are being violated as we speak.

There is a lack of resources in America. I would not be surprised if they take away rights that are being given to heterosexual couples just so they can "balance the budget." Talks of ending social security benefits by the time we get old and the possible privatization of the public university system are hinting towards the further decline of benefits. These are benefits we have grown accustomed to over time.

The rights that most homosexual activists are fighting over can be obtained in other ways. For example, same-sex couples can obtain inheritance rights that give heterosexual couple the automatic right to children, property, and finances after the death of their spouse - by simply leaving a will.

And then they also want tax breaks. Are you kidding me? People with children are the only ones that can get somewhat significant tax break. We all know that is not going to happen with same-sex couples because they cannot naturally procreate. A homosexual parent who has adopted a foster child does not need to be married to receive these benefits.

The case being made for gay marriage rights, the government benefits part, can also be made for the ordinary single tax payer. We've had to fork out taxes, which benefited large corporations that were hit by the economic crash - not by choice, I might add.

Because of the current economic condition, it's the wrong time to be asking for marriage rights from state government. My position on the matter might or might not change as economic problems improve. From where I stand, all people should worry about losing rights and benefits, not just homosexual couples, who have never had them in the first place.

Coping With Death

The single most important fact of our lives is that one day we are all going to die. Other than in biblical stories, dead people do not come back. A couple weeks ago I was reminded of this truth when my mother passed away. Almost nine months ago we were informed that she had only six months to live. A few months later she moved in with me in my new home, where she seemed to be defying the doctors predictions by being in high spirits and good health. Unfortunately, when she did fall ill - she couldn't seem to get better as she did before.

The forewarning the doctors gave us allowed us time to prepare for the worst. Yet it has not made it any easier to live with her disappearance. More than three years ago, there was another death in the family, that of my brother who was only 39 years old. That was a surreal moment for the entire family. Coping with that loss took many of us months to recover.

This time it was a little different. As a family we had decided that we would not do what we had done with my brother, to prolong death. We wanted her to be comfortable and without pain. Through prayer and family gatherings we were able to momentarily minimize the impact of her passing.

Since she has passed on various members of the family are coping with the loss in their own ways. Those that are successful in carrying on their lives employ simple methods to help them get through their grief.

The key to making it through any sort of loss in life is to control your mind. Our minds consciously and subconsciously reinforce the sadness through various methods. For instance, someone who has lost their husband or wife to death resort to listening to all their favorite songs which they had marked as "their songs." We tell ourselves that this is to help the grief process, when in fact its only reinforcing the sadness.

Another thing people tend to do when they lose someone is to see old pictures. They look at them often enough and with enough people that they keep the memory alive for longer. Even when the mind tries to occupy itself with other things, it reverts back to the good times with the deceased, ultimately leading them to think about their death.

Talking about what happened is a great tool to help someone grieve. However, overdoing it isn't. This also keeps the pain fresh. Each time we think of anything related to the deceased, we start the grieving process over again, keeping us in a constant altered state of mind.

Loss of loved ones whom you are very close to is hard, and nothing I say will change that. But the saying that life goes on rings true. You cannot die with the person that has died, nor can that person come back to you. Accepting this fact will help people move on and live their life. I know my Mom would have wanted me to do the same. Every inch of my body wants to lie in bed and be miserable, but that wouldn't be helping me, nor would it help my Mom. This is why I choose to control my mind thus controlling my emotions enough so that I can do what she would have wanted me to do. To live.

Funny Life with Lisa Kogan

Biographies are boring; at least biographies of those of us who haven’t done anything special to change the world. Lisa Kogan, a columnist for O Magazine, writes about her life but with a humorous touch that anyone would enjoy. Not to mention, she writes on day-to-day issues for parents, cooks, and individuals everywhere.

Kogan is a 49-year-old single mother who lives in New York City. She started writing as a columnist for small magazines such as 7 Days, Mirabella and Egg magazines – all of which went out of business. She then wrote for Elle magazine for seven years. This gave her enough background to be picked up by Oprah Winfrey for her O Magazine which launched in 2000.

Besides writing for O Magazine, Kogan also wrote a book called Someone Will Be With You Shortly. The book discusses issues big such as raising children by yourself while having to deal with the other parent who lives thousands of miles away, and issues that are small, like selecting the right kind of deli meats.

Kogan’s self-deprecating humor and deep appreciation for what really matters has made her popular among O Magazine’s general readers. She believes that everyone is entitled to having a great mattress, comfortable shoes, and a very smart psychiatrist. She also searches around the globe for the decent tomato; one she believes hasn’t been grown since 1963.

Working for O Magazine, she is the writer-at-large. The magazine has approximately two million readers. Although her ultimate boss is Oprah herself, she gets most of her direction from the editor-at-large Gayle King. O Magazine has a large female readership which makes Kogan’s writing more geared towards issues that relate to women.

She’s a self proclaimed busy body, stating that she works way too hard and doesn’t get enough sleep. The humor in her columns is so original that it seems like it comes to her naturally. Some of the topics she has written about are Everything You Want To Know About Sex Toys (calling on a sex-toy-expert to help her with this one), Love & Relationships, and What Makes People Happy. Kogan also maintains a blog which is not very popular and does not have more than one posting on it.

Here are some hilarious quotes from Kogan’s columns:

I'd like to say a few words to every crabby traveler who responds with disgust whenever a baby cries on an airplane. Perhaps you don't know how babies work, but there's been a study, and it turns out that giving a 4-month-old the stink eye doesn't actually accomplish anything. Either have a little compassion or a little Ambien.

Allow me to demystify the entire real estate market for you: Gracious means ridiculously small. Quaint means a total wreck and ridiculously small. Spacious, airy, luxurious, and grand all mean ridiculously small.

Any shrink worth his or her salt will tell you that it is a mistake to think of your colleagues as family. But what is a family if not a group of people who care about you and irritate you and show up for cake on your birthday and look at pictures of your kid even when they don't feel like it and think it wouldn't kill you to put on a little makeup and a pair of heels once in a while?

So if you’re looking for a good read that will teach you a thing or two about cooking fish, try reading the columns written by Lisa Kogan. A humorous writer with a lot of experience – she won’t disappoint you as a reader.

Procrastinator's Guide to Survive the End of the Academic Semester

As the fall 2009 semester at California State University Sacramento draws to a close, students across the various academic courses scramble to turn in their final papers and prepare for the dreaded (mostly comprehensive) final exams. I, too, am one of those students.

With deadlines looming for research and analytical papers, I've learned my lesson from previous years to not make the procrastination mistake again. This year, I'm practicing a new approach to keep on track with the research paper deadlines. Here are some tips I have picked up over the years:

• Start Research Early. Most professors give the research assignment quite early. Even if you're not writing it right away, begin the research. Use the time you have between your classes to your advantage.

• Talk to Classmates. See what others are doing. Where they're getting their information. Just try not to let other's procrastination rub off on you.
  

• Make an Outline for Your Paper. At the very top in bold letters write: DUE DATE: and put a date that is a week to two weeks prior to the actual due date. This will trick your mind into getting started sooner rather than later.

• Put Some Time Between Papers. Sometimes all the papers are due during the same week - the week before finals. If this is the case, put at least a week between the papers as your personal due date. This way, your thoughts won't get all muddled among the various topics.

• Write the Paper! This is it! You've done the research, organized your thoughts, now sit down and write it out. After you proof read it for errors, it’s ready for turn-in. You can either leave it saved on your computer (with a backup copy on a flash drive somewhere) or turn it into the professor for extra brownie points.

This year I will be leaving on vacation out of the country a week prior to the end of the semester. Because of this, I've had to ask professors to allow me to take the exam early. Knowing I have less time to study than other students has given me the motivation to get away from my usual cramming sessions to distribute my learning and studying process over the semester. Here are some tips on pre-finals preparation:

• Take Good Notes! Most professors base tests on a combination of their lectures and chapters from the textbook. If you take notes not only on the lectures, but also on your readings, it will decrease your time in trying to read the entire book to refresh your memory for the final exam.

• Meet the Professor. Get the study guide early so you can have more time to review your information.

• Professor's Advice. Ask the professor what they think you should know for the test. Generally they will tell you to review your exercises, previous tests or quizzes, or chapter review questions. Knowing which one you need, will give you a head start in your studying.

These are the techniques I'll be using this semester to help me survive the end-of-semester crunch. So far I've completed two of the three research papers due and one lab project - all of which weren't due until next month. I hope you will find these tips useful. Until next semester's panic session - toodles.